Tears
by JeanGreyakaPhoenix
Summary: Sequel to What kind of game are you playing at. Rated M for adult contents. I only wrote this because you all asked for it. Didn’t plan sequel in the first place! So R&R!


_**This is sequel on the series of J/L love **__**What kind of game are you playing at**__** which is sequel to **__**Hard and Fast and Rough and Loud**__**I only wrote this because you all asked for it. I didn't really intend to write a sequel in the first place! **__**Enjoy and if you don't review your own request I will kill you! And million thanks to the ones that did review. Love you Lacey :D and thanks DFR. **_

_**Jean Grey aka Phoenix**_

* * *

Tears

What's wrong?

Scott asks me everyday

since he got back

and I always tell him

that I'm fine,

but he just won't let it go

I don't plan to tell him,

I thought that that way,

I could forget about

my mistakes and go

on with my life,

forgetting that I actually

tried to stop you after

forcing you to live me alone,

I actually cried out for you

but you were too

far away already to hear me,

or maybe you did hear me

but I had hurt you so much

that you didn't wanna come back

I feel a knot in my stomach

and I want to cry, but no,

I hold my self together and I don't cry,

I don't let tears fall

Scott's trying to be nicer to me,

saying sweet things more often

and saying that he loves me all time,

and it kills me inside,

because every time he says this,

he expects me to say it back,

but I just can't, not after saying it to you

I barely return his kisses now and at night,

when he touches me,

and I can't say no anymore

because it's been so long,

I think of you when he

makes love to me,

but I don't feel anything,

not after being with you and

I have to pull my self together

after he's done,

because I want to cry,

but I don't let myself,

I don't let tears fall

It's been almost two weeks

I haven't let myself cry,

because I'm afraid

I won't be able to stop if I start

so I don't let tears fall

Some days when I don't have

classes and everyone else is busy,

I go to your room which hasn't

been touched, because I still

hope you'll come back

You left some clothes in your drawers

Did you do that in purpose?

did you plan on coming back?

or did you forget it was there?

I can't stop thinking about you,

and every time I do

my eyes water but no,

I don't cry, I can't cry

I just don't let tears fall

I tried to stop you from leaving,

I screamed desperately but

you didn't hear me and you left,

you left me, just like asked you to

but now I regret it more than life it self

and once again I want to cry, but I don't

I don't let tears fall

How could I be so stupid?

How could I be such a bitch?

I love you so much and

I can't live without you,

please Logan,

please come back to me

I go to your room once again,

I haven't been talking

with anybody much,

I'm awfully silent and

I know people are worried,

but I don't care,

I don't care about anything anymore

I lay down on your bed and hold

one of your sweat shirts close,

taking in the scent that still lingers there,

an exotic mixture of expensive cologne,

smoke, and you, just your scent

and tear come to my eyes,

but I hold them back,

and I fight with myself,

I don't let myself cry

but it's becoming extremely

hard and I need to do something to stop myself

I look around your room and an idea struck me

Carefully, I put down your shirt

and I undress myself,

heading to your bathroom as I do,

then sliding open the glass doors, I get in

I gasp when I turn it on and

the cold water hits my warm skin,

and shivering, I wait until

the water finally starts to warm

Sighing, I wet my hair and the rest of my body

Against my craving, I try not to think

about Logan but I can't help it

as I caress my body with the soap,

the heat between my legs becoming unbearable

Little by little, I start to let myself

remember what we had in the elevator,

and I moan, running my tongue

over my lips slowly

I feel a very familiar wetness

start to build between my legs and

it has nothing to do with the water

as I remember you

on your knees in front of me,

making me moan and cry out

with dark pleasure as you

you lick me and stroke me

with your fingers,

then slowly trust

your tongue into me

I bite my lower lip,

now running hard circles

around my painfully erect nipple

Without really thinking about it,

I let my other hand move lower

and I part my knees a bit,

then start stroking myself gently,

rubbing my clit in small, unsure circles

As I think about you,

how you kissed me,

how you touched me,

how you made me scream

while moving inside me,

I move into a faster rhythm,

two fingers rubbing my clit

and I close my eyes,

feeling the hot water

cascade on my skin sweetly

I slow down,

sliding one finger slowly

into myself

and I feel my muscles

clench involuntarily around it,

and moaning softly I

hold my finger buried deep  
inside for a few moments

before beginning a slow rhythm.

My other hand leaves my breast

and I start to rub my clit while

another finger slides into my wet center,

moving in and out

The feeling is delicious,

making my breath catch in my throat

I think about you,

the hot words you whispered in my ear,

saying what you would do to me,

and thinking how you licked my clit hard,

touched me and bring me to the edge

of insanity while pounding into me,

pressing me hard against the wall,

feeling me deeper and deeper…

I gasp in pleasure as my fingers move faster,

speeding up and my other hand rubbing faster

and I lean against the cold wall for support,

trusting yet another finger into my core and

I cry out as I come, my knees threatening to

give out under me as pleasure jolts through

my body harder and sweeter than I imagined

it would be, and I throw my head back in total bliss

and I want to cry, wishing so badly

that you were here with me, but I don't let tears fall

* * *

An exact month had passed since you left

as I look at the calendar on my desk,

and I haven't cried, haven't shed one tear,

because I'm afraid I won't be able to stop if I start

and I sight heavily, feeling ashamed of myself

and I desperately want to cry, but I don't,

I don't let tears fall

After I brought myself off in your shower,

just two days after that I

did it again on your bed,

and then again in the elevator,

and now it has turned into

something like an addiction,

I can't help but do it every time

I think about you and now I just can't stop

What's wrong with me?

I better not think about that,

because it's a long list

I sight and get out of my office,

walking down the halls,

when I suddenly look at the clock

and remember the appointment I have with Hank McCoy

I wanted to see him because

I haven't been feeling well,

and the last thing I need right now is to be sick.

He finishes rather quick and

says he'll tell me later if something's wrong

and I go back to my room, and I'm glad Scott's not in yet

I lie down in bed and think about

the possibility of you out there,

and as I have been thinking

for the past week,

what if I went out there to look for you?

Would you want that?

Would I find you?

What if you're not glad to see me?

What if you're with someone else already?

I couldn't take that much pain, I'll die for sure

I sight, and it takes me a while

to realize that someone's

knocking on my door,

and I get up and get it

It's Hank, he has a

very strange look

on his face and he

says he needs to talk to me

He seats on a chair opposite of me,

and with a flat tone, he says

that I'm pregnant

It was like someone had kicked

me in the chest, all air was pushed

out of my lungs and

my lips parted in total shock,

and I could only stare at him

A long time passed,

maybe an hour

maybe some minutes,

but I got over the shock

'Oh' I whispered, tears coming

to my eyes as I suddenly felt

all hope of ever seeing you

again drain away,

I couldn't go to you now,

all I could think about right now

was how miserable I was going

to be spending the rest of my life

with a man I didn't love,

only being with him and pretending

to be happy because

I was to have his child, and I sobbed,

was I gonna be able to

stop myself crying if I start?

Should I let tears fall?

But then Hank spoke again,

he said that there was something else

that there were some anomalies in the fetus's DNA,

and he ran some extra tests

He says that it's not Scott's child

and I suddenly start crying

just letting tears fall

Now what was I going to do?

It's_ your_ baby, and…

I just I don't know what to

think anymore as I cry harder,

feeling as if my soul was trying

to turn it self inside out as

I let out unstoppable tears

And I know that I won't

be able to stop crying now

because I've let my tears fall

'How could you hurt Scott like that?'

Hank suddenly says harshly and

I look up at him with fiery eyes,

my veins boiling hot with anger,

warm tears streaming down my face

'You can't judge me!' I yell,

standing up so fast that the chair

behind me falls backwards

'Don't you dare JUDGE ME!'

I scream and things in my room

start to fly around, the vases

and photo frames shattering and

without another thought

I let Phoenix out to play

as I let tears fall

She throws Hank against

the wall with her powers and

then blows the door away,

walking out like a goddess,

destroying the halls as she

walked towards the front door,

and Scott tries to stop her,

and she has half a mind

on killing him, but she

just leaves, only one thing

on our mind now,

finding the father of the child we bear,

no matter where he is

And as she goes, no matter how graceful,

black tears blur her eyes

as she lets tears fall

* * *

**I really didn't wanna use dialogue, like the other two, but I had to. Do I write another one? Tell you what, if you really did like it, I will write another one but only if I get more that 10 reviews. If I get 9, I'll only consider it, but if it's 11, I'll definitely do it. I only wrote this because you all asked for it. I didn't really intend to write a sequel in the first place! Oh, and the one that really made me reflect on writing a third was Lacey, Love you! I don't wanna be a bitch, but no 11, no 4, deal? **


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